The first step towards a fairytale like love affair
by MajjeL
Summary: After the first kiss, Josie and Sam begin dating each other seriously through a number of new adventures. Sam has moved away to Milwaukee, working as a teacher in a community college; Josie gradually becomes the most popular journalist. They are madly in love, but their completely different family backgrounds set this relationship with new challenges.
1. Chapter 1

As Josie and Sam are kissing each other for the first time, in the middle of a fully packed stadium. The euphoric crowd continues to cheer for Josie's first personal grand slam. She holds his hand in hers, as they are strolling towards the stadium seatings, before the pitcher is about to through the first ball. They meet many warm congratulatory smiles from the audience!

Shyly, Josie lifts her head up and says "I am glad that you are here with me, at last. What a surreal moment! I was never as happy as the moment, when we were kissing; at the same time I was so afraid that everything was just a wonderful hallucination."

Sam looks into her eyes and embraces her tenderly, as if she were a newborn puppy. With his soft baritone voice, he says "My charming princess, you just never stop surprising me with your fantastic ideas and your elaborating narratives." He pauses a short moment and gives her a kiss on her lips again. Thereafter, Sam cradles her upper torso with his right arm, as they sit down next to each other.

Josie enjoys being so close to him. The scent of his breathe reminds her of a favorite gum, which she often chews, when she feels insecure. As she leans her head on his chest, she asks:" I just do not know how to apologize to you. When you left me, after the prom night. All I could think about was our last conversation, your dance steps, and most of all … " Josie touches his face nervously and looks into his eyes innocently." What would happen, if we met each other through another context. I am not sure if I could ever be as exciting or beautiful as Laura. When you told me that you broke up with her a few weeks ago, I was so certain that you just need someone to talk with. Also, you would probably like to enjoy you fabulous single life for a while."

"Oh, sweet Josie!" Sam replies. "Do you have any idea about the feeling of being accepted for who I am. When I am with you, I am so certain that my choice of working as a high school teacher is the best decision I ever made."

"Why is it so controversial to work as a teacher? It is a wonderful job! Beside, you have all the time in the world to indulge yourself with a few of the most dramatic narratives, also to discuss with your students about how people from various socio-economic groups, in different age, envision the contradiction between heroes and villains, love and hatred, vision and reality! It must be a fantastic experience to observe how young people develop through their years in South Glen, under your guidance and encouragement!"

"Oh, my delightful Josephine Geller!" Sam kisses her forehead affectionately. "You remind me of the valiant Celtic warrior princess, Cartismantua. As a college student, I was very interested in Celtic history. I always thought I will one day travel to Ireland, to hike along the treacherous coastline in Dingle!"

"That sounds like an exciting vacation plan! I would love to spend a few days upon Aran island, visiting the Gaelic speaking community. Another wish is to visit St Michel island, to make friends with the lovely puffins in their natural environment." Josie replies dreamingly.

Sam looks at her warmly. Josie is an interesting and thoughtful woman. Behind her insecure smile, there is a strong determination to live her life to its full potential. At the age of 25, she still retains a strong urge to continue to dream, searching for her next adventure, which would define the greatness of life; at the same time, she has displayed a sharp intellectual depth in a number of different fields, as if she were an experienced UN diplomat. He has never been intimidated by any girls before. As the best forward in his college ice-hochey team who has a degree in English literature, he was often the center of gravity in various campus parties. Many pretty girls loved competing for his attention. At the age of 22, he was certain that he was the luckiest man in the entire universe. Suddenly, his fate changed, after his left arm, the good arm, was terribly injured in a game. From one day to another, he could no longer be the most celebrated hero on the ice. The pain from the fracture kept him awake night after night. In a few months, the operating room in the hospital was his second home.

"What are you thinking?" Josie's question brings him back to this fervent baseball match again. What a night! Sam looks at Josie! She is extremely graceful in her pink dress. As the warm breeze blows her soft, curly blond hair up and down, he cannot help himself from holding her tighter, inhaling the scent of her hair and feeling the warmth of her body. He wants to dance with her, under a huge Bohemian crystal chandelier in a baroque styled ball room, just like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire; or to hike with her, towards the highest mountain peak and enjoy the most spectacular view, under the cloudless autumn sky, like two tenacious Vikings; most all, to enjoy this moment with her.

Josie asks him again: "Sam, Sam, Mr Coulson, are you alright? "

"Oh, sorry, I just have some thoughts in my head." Sam is so afraid of revealing what he is thinking about at that moment. He does not want to give this brilliant and timid woman any pressure, which she could not bear so early in their relationship. Instead, he continues to discuss their last topic, with a slightly shaking voice. "How come you are so interested in Ireland, Josie? Do you have any Gaelic ancestors?"

"No, my maternal grandparents moved from Norway and Sweden with their families in the twenties. Both families settled in Nebraska. My paternal grandparents are children of German immigrants. There is no direct connection between me and Ireland biologically. Nevertheless, I have always enjoyed reading National geographics. As a teenager, I wanted to travel with a backpack through Europe." She responds softly. "I would love to visit Padua, to admire the wonderful Giotto fresco in Scrovegni Chapel; also drinking a cup of hot cocoa with a dash of the finest French brandy in one of the Viennese cafés in Austria, experiencing the enigmatic atmosphere, which once encouraged Freud and Breuer to discuss the psychological problems underneath Fräulein Anna O's physical illness."

Suddenly the applause from the crowd breaks out and drowns out her voice. South Glen has brought home the title. All the spectators are standing up and cheering the victory togethers with the boys in the field. Josie has only her eyes for Sam, a gentleman who has just given her the first real kiss in her life. The feeling of kissing him is nothing like what she imagined previously. His lips are soft and moisture; his newly shaved cheeks are smooth and soothing; his tongue is silky and playful. The feeling of touching his cheek with her hand, while looking at his eyes in a crowded stadium, is as intensive as being hit by a thunderbolt. At that moment, all her previous sad memories vanish into the oblivion instantaneously. The sensation of being passionately kissed by him, washes away all her anxieties for any potential future hazards. At the same time, she feels so apprehensive about entering a relationship, a real relationship with its own up and downs. Every cell in her body wants this moment to last forever.

Now, he is standing next to her in his gorgeous grey coloured jumper and smiling back to her, as if they have always been a couple. She is so proud that this sophisticated and athletic man is now her official companion, her prince charming, her heart desire.


	2. Chapter 2

When Josie wakes up in the morning, she still retains her bright smile. What a night! Her first piece of story is an instant success. Young people from South Glen high and many other local schools have been discussing her first kiss in various popular social media. The shop owner, who sold her that pink dress two days ago, has just announced that she still has ten identical dresses in her storage room. She is no longer Josie Grossie! In fact, she is the centre of everyone's attention!

The telephone rings. The display shows that the caller is Anita from the office.

"Hi, Josie! I am so happy for you!" Anita sounds cheerful. "What a kiss! You are so brave Josie! You deserve all the happiness!"

"Thank you, Anita! I still cannot comprehend fully what just happened last night! It went so fast and it was the most magnificent moment in my life insofar." Josie replies with a trembling voice.

"Sam is a lucky guy! You are not only special, you are the most interesting and caring person in the entire universe! Do you have any idea how pretty you were yesterday?"

"Oh, Anita! I have never seen myself as a pretty girl! Ever since I was young, I always thought it will take a huge bottle of magic potion, before I would master the art of being popular! " Josie rumbles quietly.

"Oh, Josie! You just did not met Mr Right!" Anita says with a raucous voice! "By the way, when you are going to have your first official date? I want to know every detail! I hope it will be a fancy one! "

"But..." Josie is suddenly in a great panic. They have talked a lot last night, comparing Brontë sisters with Austen, discussing the iconic love story between Nora and Robin, even why he was obsessed with Willa Cather's pioneer narratives for a while, after his beloved grandmother has passed away. However, they never exchanged their telephone numbers or addresses. What will happen? Has she just lost the greatest gift, life has given her?

"Josie, you do not need to reveal any detail yet" Anita says with a teasing voice. " Sooner or later, you are going to record each and every juicy detail in a Pulitzer prize winning novel, about a self-reliant career woman's self-discovery journey through a perilous path in the 21st century!"

"But Anita! We never exchanged either our telephone number or anything else! He does not work in South Glen anymore. All his furniture is on their way to his new apartment in Milwaukee. He craved for a new beginning, after I have unveiled my disguise in that prom. At that moment, he was so certain that I would write a horrible story about him, about how he seduced a promising young high school girl in the most disgusting way! " Josie screams anxiously with a high-pitched voice.

"But he came back, didn't he?" Says Anita with the calmest sound she could produce.

"Yes he did! But..." Josie does not dare to speculate if they would meet again in this lifetime. The past has suddenly caught up with her again! "He is moving to Wisconsin! He will meet pretty girls again in Milwaukee! Girls with long and blond hair, long eyelashes, bright blue eyes, perfectly manicured nails, just like Laura, his former girlfriend!"

"They might be nice to look at for a moment, but he is not in love with them! You are a spectacular woman, eloquent, adventurous, brave and entertaining! You are one in a million, Josie!" Anita continues: "If he is mature enough, he will look for you, probably already today! Or next week. Everyone in Chicago Sun time knows who you are! It takes one phone call to the front desk, to find out your telephone number! Don't worry, Josie! He is in love with you, passionately and seriously!"

After talking with Anita, Josie pulls out her laptop and hopes that Yahoo search engine would help her to find out more about Sam Coulson, her Sam! To her great surprise, she receives around half a million results, ranging from a famous guitar player, to a number of university professors and business owners, also a mugshot of an eerie looking fugitive with a huge scar on his left cheek, who escaped from a penitentiary in Alabama a few weeks ago. She knows neither where he graduated or what his full name. Sam could be either Samuel, or Samson. In her college, she even knew a Sam, whose name was Balsam!

"How little I know about this mysteriously attractive man." She murmurs to herself. Standing in front of the mirror, she scolds herself with the roughest voice: "Josephine Amelia Desideria Geller, why? I need a special magic trick, to go back in time!"

When she records her memory from her time in South Glen, she remembers that he once mentioned that his friend, Philip Fitzpatrick, who works in the admission group in Dartmouth. It is not difficult to find any information about this Philip, however there is only a telephone number, which goes his office. She can't call him! She does not want to act like if she were a desperate crazy woman! But she cannot find out any other method to trace him down. She wants to see him again.

The rest of her sunday passes by in the most dreadful way. She has neither any desire to do some needlework, which she enjoys doing in any other day, nor reading one of the books that she just bought from an online vintage book store. When she does her weekly grocery shopping, half of her cart is filled with chocolate cakes and popsicles instantly. Again and again, she asks herself if Sam would contact her in the following days.


	3. Chapter 3

Monday passes by quickly. Her telephone line has been extremely busy. A number of anxious parents ask her if she has a key, which could help them to warm up their frozen relationship with their teenage children; a principle from a suburb high school wonders who this brilliant English teacher is, also if he would like to have a new position in the next autumn term; a famous TV presenter from a cable network invites her to participate a talk show, to discuss how high school kids today shopping their prom dresses. After the lunch break, there is a stunning bouquet of ruby coloured tulips on her table, from Mr Rigfort. Together with the flower, there is a new assignment, a much more serious topic: to find out why some families, which have adopted their children from abroad, regret their decisions; also, how they treat their new family members afterworth. To her great disappointment, none of the callers is Sam. When ever she has a moment for herself, she daydreams about that moment, when her lips were touched by his for the first time. She craves for the scent of his skin and his soothing voice.

On her way home, her tear pours out, unexpectedly. The novel feeling of being a respected journalist, can not erase the fact that Sam, whom she is fervently in love with, has not contacted her yet. At the same time, she is annoyed by her own lamenting reaction. She has always been an independent and resourceful woman. Silently, she keeps repeating to herself that she has just received the most difficult assignment in her career yet, a task she looks forward to working with. Deep down, she believes that this story would encourage many families to open up their homes, welcoming the abandoned children with open arms, albeit their individual problems.

To her great surprise, there is a brown envelope in her letterbox, when she comes home. She recognizes the handwriting at once!

 _My darling Josie:_

 _I am 32 years old this year and I have never kissed a girl, who has "rocked my world" and altered my understanding of love and affection from its foundation. I cannot stop thinking about you!_

 _It is my turn to make a proposal to you! I would like to see you next weekend, for a classic date night: a nice dinner in that rustic Polish restaurant a few blocks away from South Glen; thereafter, Ibsen's A Doll's house in the theatre. I hope we can take a stroll along the water and enjoy an ice cream, (there is a wonderful shop which sells the most delicious ice cream, my favorite is the creamy Italian chocolate ice cream, with small chunks of fresh raspberry and lightly toasted almond on top) before driving you home and kissing you goodnight._

 _Please give me a call, if you see this letter! I will be in Milwaukee next week, to have a few meetings with my new job._

 _love_

 _Sam_

On the backside, there is his cellphone number. The anticipation is finally over. She rushes into the living room and picks up her telephone at once. When she dials his number, her hands are trembling with excitement and anxiety. Sam picks up his telephone after only one signal.

"Thank you for your letter, Sam! For a while, I thought I would never hear from you again!" Josie says with her bright and quivering voice. " How could I forget to discuss with you about how we could communicate with each other."

"Nice to hear from you, Josie! I was completely carried away with the entire event last Saturday too. How are you doing, sweetheart? " Sam is as composed as ever. By some strange reason, he still talks to her in the same way as if she is one of the students in his class.

"Oh, I am fine, or at least fine now. It is wonderful to hear your voice again. How did you find out where I live? From the phone book?" Josie asks.

"Please give me some credit for being a teacher. I still have the class list. I am not sure if it is a good idea to call you. It would be terribly embarrassing if one of your parents would answer the telephone." replies Sam shyly.

"I see! By the way, what is your name? Is it Samuel or Samson?" Josie asks with a juvenal voice. To know him better is her highest goal in life at this moment!

"It is Samuel, Samuel Nicholas Coulson" He replies politely. "Nicholas is the English version of my grandfather's Polish name, Nikola. Everyone called him Nico, when I was a young boy. As a child, he was my hero, my role model! I always thought he was the most ingenious person on earth!"

"I see why you prefer a stylish candle dinner in a Polish tavern. Have you ever visited your family in Poland? " This is her favorite subject. As a child, Josie loves to ask her own grandparents about their lives and families in Europe.

"Sadly no, but I would love to visit Zamosc, my grandfather's old home town in eastern Poland." He hesitates a second, before continuing to reveal a rather personal narrative: "For my family, it is a painful history, which we never talk about in any occasion. My grandfather's father was a respected Jewish merchant, who lived in one of the elegant Armenian villas in the Old town. According to my mother, this gentleman could speak both Russian and German fluently, beside Polish and Ladino. As the age of 45, two years after his wife, Edith, passed away from a struggling child birth, he met a young, feisty Gypsy girl, a brilliant Cello player from Transylvania. In his delusional days, he often spoke fondly, with his paraphasic jargon, about her idiosyncratic interpretation of Smetana's melodies and her dark honey coloured eyes. If my mother were a boy, her name would be Bedrich."

"What an intriguing story." Right now, Josie wishes that Sam is not two hours away. She has so many questions about his family constellation and why such a lovely story is still the most shameful memory. It would be wonderful to take a look at their old family album. "Do you want to visit Zamosc with me? I know we have not gone to our first official date yet, but I really want to spend a few weeks with you in Poland. As a child, my father often read Henryk Sienkiewicz's stories for us. The bloody Teutonic battles still haunt me in my nightmares from time to time. If you want to, I would love to visit L'viv in Ukraine too."

"Oh Josie, my lovely valentine! Where have been all these years?" Sam continues: "I would love to share this traveling experience with you, to taste the freshly baked authentic Polish gingerbread with a cup of smoky black tea in the afternoons, or to attend one of the open air piano concert in the evenings."

Their conversation continues for a long time. Josie loves the feeling of being able to discuss with this charming, eloquent man, about her personal view upon the "big" issues, which she often thinks about. As a fervent feminist, she loves to discuss how the changing idea of justice and democracy has altered the common understanding of a self-reliant life, from a female's perspective, although many reality shows promote a very different set of ideas. Moreover, she is interested in discussing why some of the ancient philosophies still matter today. Sam, her Samuel Nicholas, is one of the most "rufusly" interesting men in her life at this moment, who is just as eager as she is in exploring how the digital tools have changed modern people's general conceptions upon what is pertinent from what is insignificant.

Before she goes to bed, a new message appears in her telephone: "Goodnight, my Celtic warrior queen! I can't wait to hold you tightly in my arms again!" This is her first serious relationship, a marvelous love affair which could be celebrated with the most poetic language by both Emily Brontë and Christina Rossetti!


	4. Chapter 4

In the following days, Josie has learned that Sam, her handsome Samuel Nicholas, spent his childhood years in a suburb to Chicago. His parents are two devout catholics, who still attend the church service every sunday morning. Many of the grave traditional Christian virtues are by all means important guidelines in that household. For his mother, Rebecca, living a healthy and righteous life is much more important than any worldly success in terms of position, influence or wealth.

Around five o'clock in Saturday evening, Sam appears in front of her door, with a nicely wrapped package in his hand. Josie loves the fact that he wears a lavender coloured shirt with a well starched collar and a pair of fancy midnight blue coloured pants.

"Good evening, Mr Coulson! Nice to see you!" Josie, who dresses her up with a fancy white sailor dress, answers the door with a timid voice. When Sam kisses her on her lips, she beams with joy.

"Good evening, Josie Geller!" Sam also acts as if he still is her teacher in English literature in South Glen and speaks with his stern voice. "I thought you need a special private lesson in Ibsen's plays this lovely Saturday evening. I hope you have prepared yourself well. Otherwise I will have a very serious discussion with Mr and Mrs Geller tomorrow, or probably already this evening!"

Josie giggles with her sweet girly voice. "Oh, Mr Coulson, I just had so much to do last week, the shopping trips with my best girlfriends, the cheerleader activities with the team and..." She rolls eyes mischievously and says with a whining tone "There is a boy, an amicable ice hockey player, with a pair of seductive eyes. I was just too busy enjoying my daydreams, in which I am on an outing in a park with him, just like Mary Poppins and Bert, dancing with the penguins under the cherry trees and munching cupcakes with the soft, creamy strawberry frosting on top."

"In that case, the only adequate action I should execute is giving you a huge amount of extra homework this weekend. Believe me, this is not an impetuous action! You need to learn what is essential in life! Nice to know that I am still an authoritarian figure in this relationship! " He wraps his left arm around her and kisses her lips again, thereafter he hands over the small package to her. "I have missed you tremendously, my lovely Josie-Cosy! I hope you like chocolate with lavender truffles." Inside the small box, there are nine handmade chocolate bars. Their lips meet again. This time, none of them are in any hurry to part them away.

The Polish restaurant, Isabella, has been Sam's favorite place for a while. He likes the folk baroque styled interior decoration and the hearty dishes, the baked Russian pierogis with a creamy chanterelle sauce, bigos and a basket of freshly baked rye bread or roasted duck thigh with potato knodel and red wine sauce, which he once enjoyed in his grandparents' house every Sunday afternoon. The waiter is an old, chubby gentleman, with a curly, copper coloured mustache. When he wears a red cardigan in the winter season, he looks like the kindest Santa Claus in every toddler's fantasy. It feels like going back to a carefree time of his life, every time Sam talks with him. The sound of his charming Slavic accent reminds him about the happiness he felt, when he went fishing with Nico in the early Summer mornings.

In the summertime, most guests prefer eating their dinner in the beer garden. Josie and Sam have more or less the entire restaurant for themselves.

"Do you mind, if I order your dinner for you this evening, Josie Cosy! I know you guard your independence fiercely, but, please allow me to surprise you with a Polonia feast, which Nico would enjoy with a huge smile on his face!" Sam asks with a sweet voice. He knows this woman well enough to understand that he would never be able to impress her with champagne in crystal glasses or a dozen of red roses with a silk ribbon. If he wishes to gain some real importance in her heart, especially when the initial infatuation fades away and the reality catches up, he needs to share his own personal stories, which he values more than any great literature; also his personal, undisguised view upon the fundamental issues. She challenges him with her thoughtful and unforeseen questions; she excites him with her ideas and dreams; above all, she makes him feel that she believes in his ability to change the world!

Josie gives him a gentle smile and replies:"How nice! I could already sense the terrific smell of their fermented pickled cabbage! I think I will love everything, as long as they do not give me too much uncooked onion or garlic."

"How nice!" He beams back. Without looking at the menu one single time, he places his order in Polish with a beguiling voice.

"It is so exciting! Finally we are on a date together, Sam! How has your week been?" Josie asks.

Sam knows this question will come up sooner or later. He has been all by himself in a new city. Milwaukee was suppose to be his escape from her, this fantastic woman, who is sitting in front of him and listening to his stories enthusiastically. Not in a million years, he could envisage what a poignant story she composed. How could this fascinating woman fall in love with a humble man like himself? "My week has been good. It will be interesting to work in a adult high school this Autumn." He gives her hand a squeeze affectionately. "The role of being a teacher is very different, when standing in front of a group of adults who have accumulated very different personal experiences through life. Some of them are in fact much older than I am."

"You did well, when you taught me in South Glen, Mr Coulson" Josie teases him with her honeyed voice.

"However, the likelihood of teaching a group of North Western graduated top students, like yourself, my sweet pumpkin pie, is very, very low, I assume." He gives her a playful smile, while they receive their entrée, which is a small bowl of thick cabbage soup from _Malopolska_ region, with finely diced smoked bacon, potato chunks, sauerkraut and a dollop of sour cream on top. This is his favorite dish, which his beloved granny, Tekla often made in the evening time. Sam certainly hopes that Josie would like the taste of this soup; deep down inside he knows that she is precisely the kind of women, whom he would like to introduce to Nico and Tekla, if they still are alive.

"The taste of this soup brings back so many nice memories from my summer holiday in my grandparents' cottage in Pennsylvania." Josie whispers happily, while devouring her soup enthusiastically, without considering any eating etiquette or other social conventions. "If your future date dinners will be half as good as this soup, I would never say no to any new invitation!"

"Nice to know!" The number of subjects of their conversation increases with each minute it goes. Sam is surprised that this sophisticated woman is just as interested in the latest boyband music, as the ancient scripts which were conducted by Seneca or Cicero. Most of all, she is interested in life itself, to explore what is hiding behind the next hill which lies ahead of her. Her words are as magical as the wings of the most explosive eagers, which could carry his mind away, from here and now, to a fairytale like surrounding, in which the action of defying any physical laws is not only possible, it is encouraged! Her laughter is as spellbinding as the last ray of twilight! When she smiles, he has the urge to kiss her dimples, to stop time from moving forward.


	5. Chapter 5

The development of Romania has been a favorite subject, which Jossie has wished to write about for sometime. The transition from a communist dictatorship to a democratic state is an intricate object to scrutinize from a number of angles. The current lives of the children, who have been adopted from the crowded state run children's homes, are by all means a complex story. From an adoption agency, she learns that many American parents were not prepared for their forthcoming difficulties, when picking up the pretty Romanian toddlers with blond curly hair, fair skin and blue eyes in the orphanages in the early nineties. Very few have consulted the professional psychologists before making such a huge decision. As an undercover reporter, Josie assigns herself in a weekly group meeting for fifteen stay-at-home mothers in Madison every Tuesday afternoon through the internet. Those women have adopted their children from Romania in the past. Her identity in this group is a young wife, who hopes that her dream of becoming a mother would be achieved by adopting an infant internationally in the near future. She is happy that she has now a good reason to visit Sam in the middle of the week in Wisconsin.

Before her first meeting, she and Sam meet up for a casual lunch in a small Greek tavern. Sam wears a tight, white T shirt with a large Black Hawks' slogan and a pair of blue jeans. When Josie is giving him a nice kiss on his lips, she realizes how much she enjoys kissing him and smelling the aroma of his aftershave, which is mixed with a light scent of coffee from his breathe at the same time.

"So nice to see you in Milwaukee, Mr Coulson." Josie loves to tease him by addressing him as Mr Coulson.

"Hello, pretty girl! Nice to see you too!" He holds her tightly with his hands and gives her one more kiss on her forehead. "Are you nervous for your meeting?"

Of course she is nervous. When looking at Sam's worrisome eyes, she knows that she is not be able to disguise her anxiety for the first meeting. Whilst driving up, she has gone through a number of opening lines for her self-presentation in the meeting. This is a subject, which she has never had any incitement to touch upon. Although she would like to have a child or two in the future, up to this moment, she has never seriously contemplated about a life in a quiet house in a picturesque suburb with a husband and a couple of children. She has read a number of articles about the tormenting pain, which many women have experienced, after years of unsuccessful attempts to be pregnant. As a young woman, she can not imagine the ambivalent feelings to the sexual intercourse with the loved one, after being use to have coitas after a scheme, which is based on the monthly cycle, in a number of years. By reviewing various internet forums, she has learned the number of reasons of adopting a child is as many as the total pairs of parents. At the same time, she loves the fact that she has the opportunity to work with such a serious topic, so early in her career. The prospect of being able to describing such a controversial subject from a different angle, despite all prevailing stereotypical pictures, is her most important incentive to work hard with this story.

"It is an intimidating experience! In comparison with the last task, I cannot imagine what I have to do, in order to act normal." She sighs lightly. "I really hate to use the word normal, in any context, nevertheless I have to act in a normal way, in order to fit in, to get to know the women. I cannot use their narratives in any conventional sense, it is not a portrait of a desperate mother. It is a discussion upon a general level. I want to act in a genuine way, I really hate the thought that they will be feeling that I have used their stories for my career ladder in the future."

"Don't worry, my talented Martha Gellhorn! There is so much integrity and warmth in your heart, I am confident that you will find a brilliant story, which is both complex and exciting at the same time!" He gives her one more kiss on her cheek before going to the restaurant with her.

"Yes, Mr Coulson! I think you have to say that, because you are my teacher!" She gives him a mischievous smile. "Or should I address you, as my Earnest from now on?"

He strikes her hair gently."I would rather like to be addressed as your Sam, than Hemingway or FitzGerald. I really think you are an extraordinary writer, an adventurer who is not afraid of searching the path, which would be all means redefine the new general convention about what is important in life and love, the real fear that we are too afraid to scrutinize its possible consequence beneath the enigmatic surface."

"My Sam, my own Samuel Nicholas! What a beautiful sentence. If the future would be as promise as this moment, nothing would be impossible!" Josie says silently.

"Please tell me if you have have ever envisioned the feeling of having the children of your own in your arms?" Sam looks her quizzically.

"Are you? " How to reply him. This is only their second date. She is infatuated with him through her entire body, but she also hopes that she will enjoy her career for a number of years, to do things she has always wanted to do; also to enjoy his company. But the idea of having a child with this handsome man, who is sitting in front of her is not a scary thought. On the contrary, she loves to have a child, especially a boy, who would have his eyes and those delightful lips. "Do you want to have a child with me? Already?"

"I just want to know if you would understand the intensive yearning for the experience of being a mother." There is an awkward smile which flashes on his face in a blink of an eye. "Please understand me right. I do think this is a very interesting topic and I would love to listen to your thoughts."

"I see. I have thought about it a number of times the past ten days. I do believe that the motif behind each adoption is unique. But I do not understand how the discussions went before each displacement from the original adoptive families took place. I would love to believe that the intentions were altruistic in every case. I am perfectly aware the mothers, who I am going to meet today are not flawless saints. But... " Josie stops for a second and attempts to search for her own thoughts by looking at his eyes. Various thoughts come and go randomly the last days. When reading the interviews from the popular woman magazines, she is perfectly aware of her own inadequate picture of the complex relationships between the adopted children and their American parents who belong to various different socio-economic groups. "I just hope this will not be a self-discovery journey like the last article, rather a fairy and rational description of their own struggles which they have been through."

"Most of all, I hope you will not discover a new guy, a fairytale like penguin with a pair of vigilant eyes, who possesses all the specially qualities which would wobble your world, whoever he now is." Sam give her a playful look. "My fair Tinkerbell, I would love to follow you through this intriguing roller coaster ride, from the beginning till the end, either as your devoted listener, or as your discussion partner any hour through the day. You are the most fascinating woman in the entire universe!"

Josie is almost tearful. What a fantastic speech, from her Samuel Nicholas. "I hope you would be my penguin!"

Before Josie finishes her sentence, the waitress brings their lunch to the table, freshly grilled rabbit thighs with garlic sauce, a few chunks of halloumi, potato wedges and a pile of baby carrots. Although this is only their second meal together, Josie feels relaxed in his company, as if they have known each for a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

Seven women sit in the room, when Josie enters in her first meeting; one is a pretty Latino, one is an Asian, to her surprise, and the rest are Caucasians. All of them are dressed in rather expansive outfits. The youngest is around 30 years old, the oldest is at least 40 years old. There is also a Sephardic Jewish psychologist, whose name is Judith Toledano. According to the website, she has obtained a PhD in developmental psychology from an Ivy League university. She wears a tiny golden tree of life necklace. With a strong East coast accent, she declares that the theme of the meeting is 'how to define the meaning of true American Grit in the new Millennium.'

With a shaking voice, Josie delivers her self-presentation for this group. "My, My name is Josephine Geller. I live in Chicago. Through an internet forum, I found this group meeting. I hope, oh, I hope I will be able to collect as many experiences from you as I possibly can. I hope I can prepare myself well for our forthcoming adoption." Afterwards, her both palms are moist.

The youngest Asian woman says at once "It is so nice to meeting you, Josephine. To which country are you going to travel to, to get your kid?" Thereafter she scrutinizes Josie's left ring finger and asks "Are you adopting alone, as a single mother?"

Josie suddenly realizes that she does not have a ring on her finger. How could she ignore such an important detail? This also remains her that she needs to have a photograph of Sam in her wallet. She just hopes it will not be difficult to convince Sam to take a photo with her. Also, she needs to make up a story about their romantic past, which leads to his grand proposal. It would be nice to tell the lady what a beautiful proposal in Vienna or Madrid her engagement was. She takes a detour in her mind and envisioned a romantic proposal, in a balmy Spring afternoon. Sam, her Samuel Nicholas gives her an elegant ring, which Zelda would have on one of her fingers, when taking a sojourn with Scott to France, also a dozen red roses afterwards. Sam would probably read a charming passage from one of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poems. If he would like to propose in Vienna, they would probably attend a fancy party afterwards and dance along a dramatic piece of Waltz, which was composed by Strauss, under grand crystal chandeliers, which are lighted up with candle lights. If their engagement takes place in Cordoba, they would probably go to a cosy Oriental tavern and have a fancy meal with lots of fresh vegetables and tasty herbs, whilst the violinists playing Granados' Spanish Dance passionately. As an Andalusian senorita for a night, she would wear a red Flamenco dress, a cute silk mantilla, which is fastened on her hair with a handmade wooden peineta, when dancing with Sam.

"You'd better think one more time, if you really want to have a child on your own, especially if you considering to adopt an infant, who cries a lot in the evening." A modulated voice takes her back from her reverie. A blond woman with a thick ponytail, who wears a dark brown coloured blouse and a fancy white skirt sermonizes with a serious complexion. "As a single career mother, it is difficult to pull everything together. The kids are not always cute and fun, especially when they are tired or hungry."

"I have a nice husband at home, the matter in fact, and his name, his name is Sam." Josie stammers with a quiet voice, as if she were afraid that someone in her groups would uncover her disguise and accuse her for acting as a charlatan in such a personal meeting. "He loves children. And, and he loves me." A signal flashes quickly on her telephone, there is a new message from Sam. "Good luck with your first meeting with the ladies in Madison."

"You will be fine, if you are on your own, without a drunken Irish husband, whose devotion to Guinness or Bushmill single male is a billion times deeper than his attachment to you!" A sarcastic voice comes from a skinny lady, who is busy checking her finger nails. "Although he wears adult jackets och has an American driver's license, when he talks with his mates, the only subjects they would touch upon are either the latest ball games or the important pub nights with the lads. His cute accent becomes a painful remainder of how foolish you once were, when you let him cast a spell on you with his charming singing voice, a set of excotic vocabularies and his vintage photographs from the Ring of Kerry, which his grandfather took, when the fanciful American automobiles still were a symbol of one's position in a callously stratified society." There is a strong determination in her eyes, which penetrates through the entire room; her sight is as sharp as a Celtic dagger. Josie cannot make up her mind whether she should laugh or cry. In comparison with her tragic story, the romantic fantasies, which Jossie has recently been through in her day dreams, are only bizarr, juvenal illusions, which she is ashamed of all in a sudden.

Slowly, Judith stands up. With a kind voice, she attempts to direct the topic towards the theme of the day. "Ladies, I think Audrey has just demonstrated for us how important it is to be a tenacious mother, a safe haven for her offsprings, with this personal narrative. Thank you, Audrey for sharing your story with us today!" She clears her throat discreetly. "Let us talk about how to cope with constant stress, day after day What is your take on this, Cynthia?" She directs her eye towards the Latino lady. "In the previous meetings, you have described a number of times, how often your husband, Anthony, traveled month after month. How do you do?"

Cynthia gives Josie a polite salute with her eyes and replies with a tired voice: "Tony was the one who wanted to have a child from Romania from the beginning. He has a bunch of relatives, who moved to the US from Wallachia fifty years ago. When we brought the boys home, Claudiu was already eight years old and Dorian was five. On top of this, our daughter, Alice, was only two years old. It has been a constant battle. Sometimes, no, every day, I think I need to to give up, to walk away from this mess, with Alice." After a short stop, she continues: "It has been three very, very difficult years." Her tears pours out. "I am so ashamed that I want to abandon those two boys, but… But I just do not know when things will turn around."

Audrey gives Cynthia a hug. before she delivers her comments: "It is crazy that the boys still talk with each other in Romanian at home, after they have lived in Wisconsin in three years. I can imagine the feeling of being an Alien in your own house. All their friends are Romanian speaking kids in school. It is strange that Tony only wants to be a fun dad, and shovels all the responsibilities to you. What a cynic world!"

The discussion turns to such a serious lamenting session after just a few minutes, despite all the women have such happy profiles in the forum, showing up the photographs of the interior decorations of their homes, the perfect smile of their children, their after school activities, the joyful family vacations. Josie excuses herself by asking where the bathroom is. She has to get out of this asphyxiating room at once, to escape from the miserable family tragedies for a moment. What is real? What is an illusion? No one plans to go through a dreadful marriage with a handsome, well-paid and narcissistic husband, who treats his wife like a pretty Barbie doll, who is happy and content all the time, despite all difficulties. The tormenting pain and the terrifying loneliness which destroys their mental strength slowly, becomes only more and more unbearable with every day it goes, whilst the gentlemen continues with the same family routine days after days. The good-bye kisses are nothing more than a standard procedure each morning. The weekly coitas only satisfies the basic biological needs; when eating the family dinners in the evening, all they exchange with each other is either their children's next activity or which bills they need to pay in the near future. It is difficult to speculate why the husbands no longer pay any attention to their wives' inner world, their opinions upon various political reforms or artistic development, although they continue saying the magical sentence 'I love you' every day. Their adopted children are too young to understand the feeling of being an inadequate mother, who does not have the slightest ability to understand how their idea of the prevailing social convention functions. When the women are all by themselves in the morning hours, the feeling of being left alone by the entire universe, terrorizes them frequently. All their childhood dreams are as far away as the brightest nova in the midnight heaven.

At last, Josie walks in again and joins a new heated discussion, regarding how to be stoic and fair, when their adopted children keep revolting day after day. Many children, who have lived in a orphanage for a number of years, suffer some severe mental disorders. The memories of living in a overcrowded confinement, moulded their special social instinct. Due to various different circumstances, the staff in their orphanages have never assessed if some of the children might be autistic in one way or the other. As a new parent, their first challenge is to establish a mutual trust and respect, despite the cultural barriers. By listening to different women's experiences, Josie realizes that some of adoptive children are reluctant to trust their American parents, who occasionally have shown some disdainful attitude towards their old homelands unintentionally.

When the meeting is finally over, Josie is overwhelmed with all new impressions. The predicament of becoming a mother, when the adopted child refuses to bond with you open-heartedly in any circumstance, is only a dismal reality, it is the worst nightmare for someone who have tried so hard for such a long time to become a mother. When most women have scattered away, the young Asian woman, Rui-Kim, approaches to her and asks: "Are you alright? You look sad, Josie."

"I am okey, I think. It is just, everyone has such a sad story to share with the group. I am not sure..." Josie is still shaking.

"It is a good reality check. Everything you read from the newspaper is how a child would complete your life; or how much joy and happiness a vulnerable teenager would bring to their new adoptive family. There is always a different reality, when the camera has turned down. " She puts one hand on the banister and gives Josie's hand a cordial squeeze with another. "Your experience might be very different. The happy mothers do not participate this group meeting."

"I know what you mean." Josie murmurs.

"I will see you next week, if you still want to participate this meeting. I have two hours of driving ahead of me now." Rui-Kim vanishes soon from her sight.


	7. Chapter 7

When Josie comes home to Chicago, she has a strong urge to talk with her mother, for a meaningful discussion about the idea of motherhood. Her telephone pips again, there is a new message from Sam: "I miss you, my delightful baby doll! Good night, Sweet dreams! I am looking forward to talking with you tomorrow evening!"

In any other days, Josie would be happy to read this message, but not today. "Who am I?" She looks at her own image in the mirror, whilst repeating this question over and over again. The idea of being someone's wife, a couple of children's mother is an impossible challenge. Cynthia's voice continues to create new questions in her head, questions which encourage her to scrutinize her ability to love someone unconditionally, whilst people around her refuse to acknowledge the misery she is going through every day. Sam has been a pleasant gentleman up to now. Will he continue to be a sweetheart? What will happen in the future, after they have become husband and wife? The prospect of hearing Sam saying "I love you" in a romantic candlelight dinner, scares her, although she has fantisised this moment so many times in her solitude.

On Thursday, Josie meets up with her mother, Amelia, and her aunt, Andrea, for lunch, in a small Vietnamese restaurant. Both of them became mothers in a rather mature age. Amelia is a shy lady, who works as an experimental chemist in the hospital. She has always been a supportive, quiet and sensitive mother, who takes care of her two children on the daily basis. When they need someone to talk to, she has always been an open-minded listener. Andrea has been Josie role model, since her teenage years. As the travel reporter, a talented photographer, she has been to places, most people have only seen on a detailed map. A few years ago, she was awarded with a famous prize, for her travel article about the cave monastery in David Gareja in Georgia in Caucasus. Both sisters love the freshly prepared Vietnamese Summer rolls, with shrimps, crispy lettuce, green herb and finely diced scallion. The crown of everything is their salty chili dip sauce, with a dash dark sesame oil on top.

"It is so nice to see you, both of you. I really need to talk with you, mom and auntie! What a week! I have no idea what it takes to be a mother!" The opening lines sounds desperate already.

"What are you talking about, Sweetheart? Are you and that Mr Coulson..." Amelia asks unsecurely with a trembling voice.

"No, mom. We have not even, you know." Josie collects her breathe in a second. "We have only kissed, many kisses although, but..."

"What a night, you are so magnificent, Josie. That Mr Coulson must be immensely impressed! Not many people can pull through a thing like that, my darling! You are such a brave warrior, just like your grandmother, Hilda." Andrea looks at Josie, with a smile. "How I miss her. You and that blond gentleman, Sam, make a beautiful couple together. I hope you will have a nice Summer together."

"It is not that fantastic to enroll myself in a relationship, at least not now." Josie sighs lightly. "I am not even sure who he would be, when he will metamorphose from my prince charming to a conventional man, who is both narcissistic and vain, when the excitement of this new companionship ceases." Josie does not want to believe a day like this will arrive soon. In her eyes, her Samuel Nicholas is perfect in every aspect. When she thinks about him, he is as charming as an elegant nineteenth century pianist, who plays one of the most elaborated Polonaise which was composed by Chopin, on a Grand piano in a large Baroque party saloon in Krakow. This room is dimly lighted with ivory candelabras. All she could see is the movement of his fingers and the glistening stars in the night sky. What is his unproud true nature, beneath his happy and sincere demeanor? A ferocious hunter, who loves to kill the most splendid rhinos in the savanna, just to prove his manhood for the world; or a blood thirsty vampire, who would blow his stunning cover away, when he is dehydrated with human blood in the night time; or a soulless plutocrat, who has only his eyes on the items, which are profitable, regardless which consequence he will cause for his posterity.

"Oh, my sweet darling! What happened? " Amelia looks worried. "I know you have always been an insecure girl, but, I always thought you are confident about yourself."

"Mom, the thing is..." Josie cannot find an adequate way to express her ambivalent feelings, when she contemplates about Sam and her own future. "I am scared. There are awfully many things which could go wrong in a relationship, probably already tomorrow. "

"True, it makes me happy that you have gone through Schopenhauer's view upon life! Always trying to carry a pessimistic attitude and taking cautious preparation is an admirable virtue, which few modern people would like to emulate. Nevertheless, Josie, there are many fabulous love traps in a relationship as well, especially when Sam has metamorphosed to his ordinary self." Andrea continues with her dreaming voice, whilst looking through the menu. "Having someone by your side in a cold, grey morning, when the rains strikes against your window, is a cosy feeling. "

"If the only attachment a husband has for me is the raw carnal desire, I would rather like to live alone. This is not my idea of a relationship. I am not looking for a person to just have fun with. I want to experience the epic love story, in which the craving and jealousy are not only two painful contradictions, rather the basic elements which infuriating the passion, as well as the mutual admiration." Josie looks away with tears rolling in her eyes. "I want to believe that the tenet of my life is not only about a biological process, to eat, sleep and to copulate. When I close my eyes in the evening time, with a husband beside me, I want to be loved for who I have transformed myself into, through our relationship, love and support from my family and friends, also my working experience. When he holds me in his arms, I hope both of us are certain that we will be holding each other like that for the rest of our life, hopefully the whole way into the otherworld, after we have passed away."

Amelia gives Josie's hand an affectionate squeeze. "The mutual trust is the most paramount foundation of a worthy relationship. You need to set your bar high, my darling. I feel content that you are not in any hurry in your relationship. I have always known that you are a smart mademoiselle."

Josie continues. "I have not returned any of Sam's message or phone call the last three days. I just cannot collect my strength, when thinking about the stories the women in that meeting shared with the group. Sam keeps calling me, two or three times a day. In one of his messages, he expresses his concern in a rather emotional wording."

"I wish Hilda is still alive! She would love hearing your words." Andrea says. "She loved to lecture us about the importance of finding a companion, when selecting a suitable husband. I would kill myself instantly, if my husband only discussing about my outfit, my body or my makeup, other other worldly activities, in our conversations!"

Both Amelia and Andrea continue to express how pleased they are to see how serious Josie is, regarding both her career and her love life. Although the feeling of loneliness and alienation has followed her through her school years, these horrible experience also shaped her in a positive way. Today her tenacious and thoughtful personality shines through unapologetically. It is hardly possible that she would allow any mysterious happenings which occur in life from time to time to perturbate her plans, which she would like to actualize with a good work ethic and a strong conviction, that anything is possible.

With a reluctant voice, Andrea admits: "Darling Josie, regardless how embarrassing it is to confess this, but you are much more mature now that I was, at the age of 25. Sam is a lucky man, if he understands what an amazing butterfly you are!"


	8. Chapter 8

Sam's last meeting is scheduled at four o'clock on Friday afternoon. Sam is not sure if he will be able to see Josie this evening. Once again, he looks at his telephone. He realises that Josie has not replied anything back in three days. Is it really suitable to send one more message to her? Sam does not like to think that Josie has a change of heart already, two weeks after their grand first kiss, in front of everyone they know.

Sam is happy that he is going to work with the newly developed online education program, a very flexible course, which allows more people to work and study at the same time. This is a very positive development of his career; however, he is two hours away from Josie, the most brilliant lady he has ever met yet. She is pretty and innocent, when she smiles, her complexion is as lovely and unfathomable as Flora's tender facial expression in Botticelli's La Primavera; she is also the only person, who could recognize every quotation he picks up from any transcendentalists' writings at once; Moreover, she understands instantly the intricate relation between the quotations and his idea when discussing a certain topic in any casual conversation. He takes out Josie's photo, which he cut out from the Yearbook, and kisses her face affectionately.

Sam dials Josie's telephone number again, whilst murmuring for himself: "Josie-cosy, Oh Sweet apple pie with strawberry frosting, please answer your cell phone! If I have done something wrong, please let me know. Do not neglect me, like this, please!"

"Hi, Sam, this is Anita speaking. Josie is not feeling very good lately." Anita answers with a sweet voice. "I know she has been through a minor personal crisis lately."

"What happened? Is someone from her family...Oh, is she alright, herself, Rob or her parents?" Sam becomes alert instantly.

"No, not at all. It is about her latest story. She has met a few unhappily married ladies. Josie is an artist, who is very sensitive in every possible aspect. She probably just needs some space to collect herself. Our Josie is as brave as the Iron lady, at the same time, her heart is as fragile as Empress Alix of Russia. Sometimes, she just needs to take a refuge in her Walden bubble for a while."

Sam knows how supportive Anita has always been. She has become the feisty big sister, Josie never had in her family. "I just hope she does not have a change of heart." Sam replies with a sad voice.

"Poor Sam! I know Josie is crazily in love with you. You are her Mark Darcy. Believe or not, she actually talked about how much she would like to travel with you to a tiny Polish town, called Zamosc in the future. Also a visit to Bialowieski national park, enjoying the sight of the European bison in their native environment. If you do not hustle anything now, and let her settle her emotional ups and downs in her own speed, everything will be alright at the end." Anita reassures him.

"Thank you Anita. I just hate to think that I will let her slip away one more time. I will probably give her a call on Sunday, if she would like to talk with me." Sam murmurs.

"Oh, Sam. I will talk with her. She has been a very effective copy editor, in the last three days. She is a smart girl, she knows that she can not hide herself from everything forever. Take care of yourself, Sam. Have a good weekend!" Anita says with a kind of voice.

On his way down to Chicago, Sam keeps thinking about Josie's reaction. When reaching Josie's building block, he pulls his vehicle into a parking lot. Josie's window is lighted up. He rings the entry phone hesitantly.

"Hi, who are you?" Josie answers after a few seconds.

"This is, this is Sam." Sam murmurs. "I just want to know if it is too late to visit you, Josie-Cosy? I miss you, I know you are my Catherine Morland."

There is no response for a while. "What happened? Are you there, Josie, my darling?" Sam is in a great panik. A few minutes later, Josie appears behind the wooden door, wearing the same white long sleeves T shirt she had, when they met each other in the classroom in South Glen. She is in tears.

"You are my Henry Tilney!" Josie embraces Sam with open arms. "You still remember that my favorite Austen romance is Northanger Abbey! Thank you for coming here tonight! Would you like to come up for a cup of tea?" She gives him a kiss on his lips.

What an overwhelming sensation. As her lips touches his, the electric current streams through his entire body, as if he were a superconductor. "I love to be your Henry Tilney, nevertheless I do not own a fancy Gothic castle, or a horse drawn carriage, my sweet Kitty!" He gives her a tender kiss on her cheek. "The last three days have been the longest three days of my life! I miss you terribly, darling Josie-Cosy!"

On their way up, Josie holds his hand tightly, as if this is their last moment together. Sam want to grab every second he has with Josie. The warmth of her hand and the scent of her body is the only thing that could comfort his wearisome heart. Before they enter her apartment, Josie says with a quiet voice: "You are not only my Henry, you are so much more. When I talk with you, words from you are the brightest beacon in the night. When I touch you, all the worldly troublesome events just vanish into the oblivion at once. But, I am so afraid this is the highest peak of our relationship."

How to comfort this smart lady, who is standing in front of him? Sam searches through his head, without finding any clue. Any overused cliché would only undermine his position as her prince charming with 100% likelihood. After years of studying and teaching the greatest literature in the world, he knows too well how to lose a girl, by applying the conventional thinking pattern when talking with a special girl. In a moment like this, he could only use his heart to take in every word she articulates, in order to investigate what her real fear is. He cannot assure her that he will always be in love with her or their relationship is likely to be better and better with everyday it goes, by giving her a speech with the most popular words, which every glossy magazine is using, when describing a Cinderella like romance. But he does not want to lose her or make her feel insecure about his intention with this relationship.

When sitting together in a white couch, which is surrounded with a huge pile of well embroidered pillows, Sam has his arm around her shoulder. He is more convinced than ever that Josie does not need any protection from a guy, she is a self-reliant warrior queen. With a guttural voice, he says: "So, my sweet Josie-cosy! I just want to know what happened in your life lately. I never thought the feeling of wanting someone could be so painful." He kisses her gently. "I… I know it is stupid to speculate too much, but I just hope you do not have a change of heart."

Josie looks at him with both eyes wide open. "I… I keep listening to an Irish boy band song, it called _Father and Son,_ very often. After talking with the women in Madison, I begin to realize how naïvity and too much unrealistic romantic expectations, with a capital R, could destroy one's life. What will happen to us, if we still will be a couple, ten years from now? Do you really think my thoughts upon literature or art will still matter to you? Do you think the main reason that keeps our relationship going would be our daily routines and the children's activity schedules; as we both keep compromising to each other and the rest of the world, at last, we hardly recognize the meaning of living a life together? One day, we both would arrive to a dismal conclusion that life is just a battle, whilst none of us understands why we still sleep in the same bed night after night. What you see in me, reduces to my genitalia. What I expect from you is only a new wave of broken promises."

How to reply a speech like this? In the past, he has never met any lady, who challenges him like Josie does. After a while, Sam replies: "I hope it will never happen to us, but I cannot give you any prophecy. I am not a Gaelic druid. What I can give you today, is a promise that I will always be honest with you." He gives her a bear hug, whilst inhaling the scent of her hair with a devour appetite. "Min fair princess, my experience of life is not by any means impressive. School is a relatively simple environment. Nevertheless I have seen how broken families destroy teenagers in the most horrendous ways. Also, how absent parents corrupt their children's idea of what is a righteous action in the grown-up worlds." He stops for a second to give her one more kiss on her lips. "What I see in you is a passionate soul, an urge to defy the prevailing social consensus, by revealing how life could be lived, if we are open to other options. Being with you here and now, is more exciting than following Jules Verne, on his journey up to the Moon and back again. My lovely Josie-Cozy, I love everything about you. You are amazing!"

Sam is surprised that he have just articulated those magical words without any anxiety or reservation, as if it were the most natural feelings he has always carried with him. Josie looks startled and confused at the same time.

Josie looks up and replies : "You talk so well, My Samuel Nicholas." One signal from her telephone interrupts their conversation. Josie does not recognize the telephone number. The message contains only two sentence. 'Josie, I would like to talk with you now, if you have time! My world is falling apart!'


	9. Chapter 9

Josie picks up the telephone and calls back at once. A sobbing voice on the other end answers before the first signal has gone through:"Hi Josie, this is Audrey. Do you remember me from our last meeting. I really need someone to talk with, but I am too embarrassed to tell my friends about Kian's latest bomb."

Could this really be that disparaging Audrey from the Madison meeting? Josie can not untangle why she calls her in a late Friday evening. Her voice is really sad. She asks: "Audrey, yes I remember you well. How did you get my telephone number? Did we exchange our contact information? What has happened?"

Sam gives her bewildered look and asks: "What happened? "

Josie turns up the speakerphone. Audrey replies: "I found your telephone number from the forum. I have to talk with someone. Most women in our meeting are more or less my personal friends now. If one of them knows what happened, we will only be talking about Kian on our next meeting."

"Audrey, please calm down a little. Who is Kian? Is he your cynical Irish husband, that musician?" Josie organises what Audrey mentioned in their last meeting in her head. "Has he done something really bad this time? What happened? I promise, I will not mention anything to anyone, unless you ask me to do it. "

"Kian is my stay-at-home husband. Today, our nanny dropped a bomb on our dinner table."

"Is she pregnant? Is Kian the father?" Josie sounds nervous. She hopes this is not the case, for Audrey's sake.

"No, no one is pregnant, at least, not yet. When her little sister visited her at our house, Kian had intercourse with her a number of times in my bedroom. This girl is only 14 years old." Audrey screams desperately.

Sam take over the telephone from Josie and says to Josie: "Let me. You look terrified. I have handled sadly similar problems earlier. " After he clears his throat lightly, he does his best to talk in a normal voice: "Audrey, this is Sam. I have a few questions for you. Are you sure your husband really has done all the nasty things, which your nanny claimed? Is there any misunderstanding? What are they going to do, the parents and the young girl?"

"Hello Sam. You must be Josie's husband, right? The thing is, that teenager and her parents have already visited both the police station and the hospital. On her body, they have detect both saliva and the remnant of other biological issue. His sperm has been collected from both her stomach and her genitalia." Audrey replies with a desperate voice. "He blames me for everything. If I could get pregnant, he would never touch any other ladies, according to him."

Josie holds Sam's arm tightly. What a horrible moment this is. How could Sam handle such a predicament so confidently? He gives her a kiss on her forehead, before continuing talking with Audrey: "Where is Kian? Do you have anyone around you? Where is your Nanny? "

Audrey speaks in a delusional voice: "Kian has drifted away, with my car. I have no idea where he will be. He has a pile of cash with him, which he took from my bag. It would be difficult to track him down by checking my bank account."

Something is not right in her narrative. Sam asks with a confident voice: " If your nanny is sure that they have visited the police station, it does not sound right to me that she would break the news to you like this. Why did the police officer never come to your house to arrest Kian? Did they really have all the solid evidence they claim they have? Where is the nanny now?"

From the speakerphone, Josie hears that Audrey's voice has relaxed somehow. She says "I see your point. The nanny has gone angrily. I have been all by myself."

Sam continues: "Please collect yourself as much as you can. It is not the end of the story. Many things could happen in the near future. I think you need to find yourself a very good lawyer as soon as possible. I also think you need to talk with a professional psychologist. We can listen to you, but we can not help you to overcome such horrible traumatic feelings that would probably follow you around for a long time in the future. I know it is hard. But ..."

Audrey continues with her crying voice: "I know, I know. Okay, I will not take more time of your Friday evening. Everything is probably not as horrible as I thought."

Josie replies warmly: "Audrey, please keep us posted. It is not easy to be alone, when a nanny, who takes care of your child, delivers such a news. It is hard, when you realize that all your trust to the one, whom you are in love with, has gone. Good night! Please take care of yourself!"

When Josie hangs up the telephone, she collapses at once. It is unthinkable that such a horrible story actually occurs in reality. "Why did this Kian fellow do such a thing, to his wife? She is a pretty and smart lady! I cannot think of one good reason for a man in his age, to commit such a horrible crime." She tries to find an answer, which she could believe in, in Sam's eyes. "I hate to think that Kian did everything deliberately, in order to hurt Audrey. I know I know nothing about this lad, other than he is a good singer who loves singing Irish songs. Most of all..." She looks away for a second, to collect herself, whilst Sam gives her a nice kiss on her lips. "I would like to know why she remains in that marriage, which breaks her down, Sam."

"Oh, my lovely polar bear, my sweet Josie-Cosy, I can imagine how overwhelmed you are at this moment. I am glad that I paid a visit to you today, although I was not sure if this is an adequate decision. I just wish..." Sam caresses her cheeks with his fingers affectionately for a second. "It is painful to unveil the fancy parcel of a broken family. All the filthy realities would not leave you unconcerned. I remember so well how I felt, when the school informed me how one of the smartest kids in my English class, who did well in school, hurt herself, by cutting both of her legs with her father's razor blade in solitude. She was only 16 years old."

"What? I know such things happen. But I have never met someone who actually does such terrible things to themselves." Josie looks at the clock and says: "Oh, it is eleven o'clock already! What a night!" Josie does want this evening to end already, not now. She enjoys being so close to her Samuel Nicholas, the Prince Charming she thought she has to abandon before he turns to ghostlike evil. She likes the scent of his aftershave and the soothing sound of his sweet talking voice.

"Are you tired, my sweet chocolate cupcake? I will sleep in my old room at my parents' house this evening. It is only 25 minutes drive away from here. Please give me a call, if you need me." He gives her a kiss again, before standing up. "Please promise me one thing!"

"What Sam?" Josie replies.

"We know very little about Audrey and her family. At this moment, we can only pray for her. I know how much you enjoy reading Alice Munro's dramatic depictions of various family tragedies. Please read a cheerful book this evening! If you want, I can bring my old Donald Duck alba with me tomorrow, if you would like to see me tomorrow."

"You are such a gentleman!" Josie is not ready to let Sam leave. At the same time, she knows that she has no energy for any cuddling or snuggling. Audrey's sobbing voice keeps resonating in her head and distracts her from enjoying her time with Sam. With a tired voice she makes an attempt to keep him staying a few minutes extra: "Oh, Sam, it is cold outside. Don't you want to have a cup of tea, before going? I have a few piece of small chocolate cookies which my mother baked for me."

Sam replies with a mischievous voice: "A cup of tea would be nice. For your information, neither my sister, nor my brother will be searching for me this evening."


	10. Chapter 10

Sam follows Josie to her kitchen, as she preparing two cups of tea, with a small kettle. The room is cosily lighted up with an Art Deco styled ceiling lamp. Upon her oak shelf, there are ten small tin-cans, with cute German nutcracker prints. On the bottom, there are small paper stickers, with the name of each tea leaves. From her upper kitchen cabinet, she takes out two large stoneware cups.

"Sam, I hope you like the tea from Darjeeling district in India. It has always been my favorite flavour. When studying for my finals in Northwestern, I could consume up to fifteen large cups a day." Josie talks in her sweet voice. "Also a huge pile of chocolate cakes. I love sweet things, especially when I am unhappy. The creamy taste of the chocolate ice cream is often my best friend, when everything goes wrong at the same time."

The forlornness in her eyes goads him to reassess who this girl is. Although she is an extremely ambitious, talented journalist, who is not afraid of any worldly challenge, there is clearly a childlike honesty, which shines through her sophisticated appearance, in a moment like this. There are so many layers in her personality. Some of which are smoothly related to each in the conventional way; others follow their own set of logical chains, which is still excessively difficult for Sam to grasp. This is precisely the most imperative reason why Sam finds this lady very intriguing to be with.

"Oh, my graceful daffodil, Darjeeling is a perfect choice. I would be lying to you, if I say that I could bring your smile back again, no matter I badly I hope I could, by being here with you. The truth is, I am also deeply affected by Audrey's misery." The steam of the newly brewed Darjeeling tea brings him back to a distant past, when he worked with a group of newly emigrated teenagers. As a newly graduated teacher, he was eager to prove his capability, to prove for himself that he was a accountable leader. Many of the students had just escaped from the war zones. Many insignificant everyday details could easily trigger out a chain of whimsical reactions. It took a long time, before he could accept the dismal reality that he could not change the world in any radial fashion. What he could do be nice, regardless how they irritated him with their irrational reactions. During the breaks, he was often extremely distraught. His mentor, Abigale often treated him with the Indian brew, especially when he was frustrated over his own inability to teach. He would love tell her his old memories in the future. Right now, he only wants to be a good listener. With a dreaming voice, he says: "I like the scent of the tea. Please be honest with me, sweet Josie-Cosy! Have you been sleeping well lately? "

"Not really. I have been thinking my whole life about the wonderful feeling of having a boyfriend, also the moment of entering the nuptial in a European Gothic church. Somehow, I am not certain what I could expect from a relationship, from you! The other day, Anita from the office asked me how I felt about having a guy for the first time in my life. I could not give her an answer. I am not certain if I could address you as my boyfriend yet. I am also insecure if you are as infatuated in me as I am in you." Josie answers with a quiet voice.

"I hope I am your guy! I have never met anyone like you before, my brilliant Kitty. If you would allow me to be your Henry Tilney, I would be extremely proud to address you as my dearest, the queen of my heart." Sam gives her a kiss, whilst contemplating about how to explain his fervent admiration towards her, without pushing her away from him? also, how to express his genuine fascination of her unique personality, in order to ensure her that his feeling is not an impetuous reaction? In front her, he is nervous, as if she is his last hope of living a good life. When she is in such a dismal mood, he just want to escape with her, far away from here and now. He wraps his arm around her and murmurs: "You are such a brave journalist! Right now, I really wish we can take our bags with us and fly over the Slovakia, to embark upon a visceral hiking journey upon the most scenic peaks around a small town, called Poprad." With an exaggerated impish voice he continues: "And never come back!"

A smile breaks out of Josie's face. "Let's us book a ticket, now! A one way ticket from here to Krakow. From there, we can take a overnight train to Slovakia, to enjoy a wonderful lifelong hiking vacation on the top of the world. You do have a teacher's certificate. Over there, you can provide a decent life for me, by teaching English. I can enjoy the view from our rustic mountain cottage everyday! The idea of a mundane activity would be a stroll upon the snow capped peak, or a glass of fine Slovakian white wine with a couple of big chunks of mature goat cheese. I am ready!"

Before Josie finishes her last word, a new signal from her telephone brings them down from the sagacious Carpathian peaks to Josie's kitchen in Chicago. Again, there is a new message from Audrey. 'Kian is seriously injured. I really do not want to see him right now.'

Josie looks like a wreck and asks Sam in a petrified voice: "Did she mentioned whether her children are with her this evening? The nanny has gone. She is probably drank. Where are her children?"

Sam capps her face in his hands and says: "It does not sounds good. I never asked her this vital question. It is such a difficult thing to ask, when she is that bitter. Do you want to call her? Do you know any other people in your group, who might knows her better? It is probably not a good idea to invade too much of her personal space tonight, when she is as vulnerable as she is now." What a fantastic girl Josie is! Sam knows precisely why so many people love to reveal their most personal thoughts to her, without any reservation. When she looks at him, with her beautiful eyes, he feels that she likes him for a very special reason wholeheartedly, as if the entire universe would agree with her about why all his actions, regard the consequences in the long terms, are justified by the special circumstances, in which he cannot escape from. Back in South Glen, he has exposed so much more of his personal life than he should, as a teacher. He follows her to the couch again, carrying the teacups in his hands.

"I think I want to call her, although a trip to high Tatra sounds much more fantastic. As a journalist, I am curious about how her family constellation triggers her to make various strange decisions though the adoption process. Also, how her infatuation turned to such a bitter resentment, whilst the attachment is still very strong between them. As a friend, I wish she could survive this a calamity." She leans towards Sam. "Love is such a whimsical thing. Sometimes it brings out the best in you, sometimes it turns you to someone, whom you hardly recognize yourself."

Half an hour later, she dials Audrey's telephone number with her cell phone. This time, a male voice answers the telephone on the other end: "This is Audrey McShea's telephone, this is officer Huntington."

Sam could assess from her facial expression that Josie is extremely confused. She talks in a scared voice: "I am Josie Geller, Audrey's friend from Chicago. I just received a message from her. I hope she is alright. Can I talk to her."

That officer replies with a solemn tone: "Mrs McShea is under an investigation at this moment. I cannot pass the telephone to her right now. However, I will tell her that you have called. Good night!"


	11. Chapter 11

Josie puts down the telephone with trembling fingers. The police officer's words put her head spinning with a fast speed. Could Audrey, the most lackadaisical person in that meeting, really be in the custody of the police now? What did she do to Kian or the teenage girl? Is that nanny in any danger? A dramatic revenge could be the most sweet reward, when you are out of your mind, especially when jealousy and hostility are actively involved. Sam uses both of his hands to massage her shoulders, whilst kissing her forehead softheartedly. It does not feel good at all. She does not want to be touched by either him or anyone else, as if any tenderness is only a disguise danger, which would evolve to a life changing calamity at any moment. She stands up suddenly and walks briskly towards the bathroom with tears in her eyes. Thereafter she shuts the door angrily. The darkness in the bathroom and the familiar scent of her soap gives her a sense of peace in her mind.

"Sweetheart, I know you are in a terrible shock! Please, please believe me, this is not the end of the story." Sam asks in a pensive voice on the other side of the bathroom door. "Josie, do you want to be alone? If you do, I really understand. But please, please keep your telephone line open. I am worried."

Josie opens the bathroom door and asks in an angry voice: "Do you think Audrey has lied to me about it all? Who is Kian? Why did a police officer answer her cell phone? I do not understand. Nothing makes any sense to me." She sobs vehemently, without being able to look at Sam in the eyes. She notices that Sam tries to hold her hands in his. By some strange reason, she only wants to escape from this evening, from him. She wonders whether the men, or the relationships in general is the most repugnant element which corrupts a woman's happiness. With a furious voice she shouts out: "I am done with this assignment and men in general. Someone else needs to work as a reporter. Not me, my rightful position is a brilliant copy editor, the best one Gus got in his stab."

Sam gives her a kiss on one of her hand: "Oh, sweet Josie-cosy, my charming panda-bear. You will create an amazing story, which will touch many people's heart, I know you will. You are such a caring person, a fantastic observer. I have corrected a pile of your brilliant essays, I know your special ability to penetrate through a rough surface, finding things, which nobody else would be able to identify, by analyzing what you have observed independently. Let us calm down a little for a moment." He looks at her with an amicable smile. "If I were you, I would probably like to check her profile one more time on that internet forum, also other members' contact information, tomorrow. Let me tuck you in bed now, before driving to my parents' house."

"Please don't drive away tonight!" Josie bursts out. "Please Sam! Please take up your travel bag from your Chrysler." She embraces him passionately. The thought of being away from him is unbearably agonizing. She had faced many intimidating moments all by herself a number of times in her life, from Billy's cruel joke to her college professor's harsh and unfair comments on her Master thesis. Never one time, she had someone who has shown such a commitment to help her go through such terrible episodes. "I have a bunch of new toothbrushes. I will treat you with a large portion of scrambled egg, with lightly smoked salmon and fresh green herb for breakfast tomorrow morning. I just cooked three huge bottles of rhubarb and strawberry lemonade, with my grandmother's fabulous Swedish recipe, also homemade rye bread." She puts her hands upon his upper arms.

Sam smiles back and asks with a teasing voice: "If I say no, would you write a new article on Chicago Sun Time's special edition and propose a slumber party in the same stadium next week? I can bring my super fancy Spider man PJ to impress the audience, also my soft Super Mario towel, if you want to, my fancy gingerbread lady." He pulls a strand of her hair behind her ear with his fingers softly.

Josie looks down shyly and replies: "Then I will need to buy a huge amount of eggs. I am not sure my storage room is sufficiently big." She looks at him and wonders how he has just transformed herself from a panicked luniac to a composed person. On top of this, she has just invited him to spend his first night with her in her bed. The bed, which she has been sleeping upon since she was ten years old. Their first night together does not occur as a conventional romantic fairytale. There is no candle light, romantic pop songs in the background or red roses scattered everywhere. What she has is her Sam, who lies beside her in his old College team T-shirt and a pair of grey cotton boxershorts, looking at her with his dazzlingly gorgeous eyes. She is too shy to touch his beefy legs or arms, but she loves the sensation of being so close to him.

She puts her hand on his hand and gives him a kiss on his lips, whilst continuing picturing what could have happened in Audrey's life. "Sam, it is so horrible to think that Audrey is locked behind the bars now, with a group of drunken and eerie criminals."

"Oh, my beguiling honeysuckle rose, please try to get some sleep. I will use all my secret tools which I have stored in my brain, helping you finding out who Audrey is, probably also how Kian is tomorrow." He gives her a kiss on her forehead och holds her waist with his hand.


	12. Chapter 12

Lying next to his beautiful virgin in her cotton pyjama and listening to her concern about Audrey in an agitated voice, is by all means a painful experience. Sam wants to scream the brain out of himself here and now, because this narrative brings back the memories from him darkest moment, when being confronted by his pretty cheerleader girlfriend, Philippa Morries in college.

 _After being the perfect couple for around a year, Sam met an exchange student, Sansitta, from Singapore, who has an Asian mother and an Indian father, in his Australian literature class. It was a small class. After a few weeks, everyone talked with each other like old friends, including their professor, Mr Doyle. At the end of the course, he and Sansitta were paired up, writing their final essay together, regarding how the foreign authors' described the unique landscape of the Australian inner core in their travel writings. Sam was pleased. Sansitta was a feisty girl, who enjoyed dancing and hiking. Academically, she was one of the most hardworking people he had met, who often contributing exceptionally original thoughts in each seminar._

 _Already at that moment, Sam had experienced how a smart girl could spellbind his undivided attention with their fantastic analyses of any mundane object and also eccentric thoughts upon the big issues, ranging from the latest President election to the idea of piety in modern time. When discussing various narratives of Alice Spring, Sansitta showed a strong engagement, which was both extremely intimidating and inspiring. Every time he came up with a good idea, Sansitta could often contra him with a much more outstanding thought a few seconds later. One afternoon, when they read through their script together in the library, he gave her a kiss on her soft lips. She enjoyed being kissed by him and gave him a bright smile afterwards. Seconds after, he saw two angry eyes from a distance, staring at him as if he were the common enemy of the entire nation. It was Philippa. She saw it all. With a fast pace, she walked away. He saw clearly how she sobbed._

 _When coming back to his apartment, Philippa was waiting for him outside. With an angry voice she delivered the most resentful speech he ever listened. "Why Sansitta? Why her? Are you in love with her? How could you do that to me, in front of everyone, who knows me? I can never standing in the middle of the stadium, cheering the teams up again. Now, I am just a joke for everyone, including myself. Neither the title as a prom queen or victory from any beauty pageant competition can erase the shame I felt today. Why her? She is just an insignificant loser from the other side of the planet. I hate you!"_

 _Sam did not know how to reply. Pippa was one the prettiest girls in his university, a girl, whom many guys would love to have a date with. Was he in love her. He thought he was. When admiring her dazzling brown eyes and sexy body, he often felt that he was on top of the world. Pippa was a very smart and independent girl, who studied software engineering and applied maths. Everyone he met talked about what a lucky guy he was. What was missing in that relationship? Why did he kiss Sansitta? He hated himself for doing that. Less than two days ago, Phillippa gave him a patchwork quilt, which she made by herself, as his birthday present. With a sad voice he said: "Listen, Pippa. I am sorry. I have no idea what happened to me. I know I hurt you. I know our relationship is ending at this moment. But please believe me, I am really, really sorry."_

" _How can I? Are you in love with her, that brilliant Asian talent?" Phillippa asks in a peachy voice. "Have you been in bed with her?"_

" _Pippa, I am so sorry. I really am very sorry for every mistake I made. Would you like to come in for a minute? I think we need to talk." Sam opened the door, whilst Phillippa screamed vehemently and gave him a bag of his personal things: "Forget about it. I do not want to see you ever again. The stinky odour of your body in that apartment only reminds me what a great charlatan you are. I wish I have the legendary Celtic sorcery which you often talk about, to hurt you the same way you hurt me today in the library. Good eye, Samuel Coulson and thank you for being the most horrible ghost in my life. I hate you! And I always will hate you!"_

 _She left, without looking back a single time. When opening that bag, there is a broken frame, with a passage of a romantic poem by EE Cummings, which he gave her as her valentine's day present. He knew that she would never come back again, ever._

With a soothing voice Sam says:"My sensationally stunning black tulip, everyone makes mistake, including Kian or me. I know you are eager to know what hides behind the close curtains, however we do not even know where Audrey or Kian are now." Josie nodes reluctantly. He wraps his hand around her body gently, whilst thinking how lucky he is. Her eagerness spurs him to redefine the meaning of his life; her adventurous nature gives him a new reason to dream, to revisit what he conjured up what a fantastic life should be in his childhood; her tenacity influences him to finding new, bold goals of life. Soon he falls into a deep sleep, feeling happy, until flash of the toalett waked him up, around one o'clock.

Josie's laptop is wide open, showing the website of forum of Josie's meeting for the unhappy adopting moms. Audrey's profile shows that her name is Audrey Washington, not McShea; her occupation is a business owner.

Josie asks: "Did I wake you up, Sam?"

"Not really. It is just so cold in bed, when you are not here with me, my innocent edelweise." Sam smiles back. "Can't you sleep, Josie - Cosy? Did I take too much space in bed?"

"No, I cannot stop thinking about Audrey. She is a mysterious woman. According to her profile, she has two adoptive children, a Romanian girl and a korean boy. They reside in a nice wooden house outside Madison. When I try to search for her information in the internet, there are a number of Audrey Washington, nevertheless only five Audrey McShea in Madison."

What a fantastic work ethic Josie has always displayed. He loves the fact that she shows such a fantastic dedication to her current assignment and a great hunger for new experience of life. Her approach is not confined by the best selling popular themes, for instance, the irresponsible deeds behind each infidelity story, or the wilde desire that drives a decent person to commit the most horrible crime, rather the complex and capricious nature of the human society, the group pressure that heats up the vulnerable inner child, thereafter encouraging a responsible adult to violate against their own convictions in the most inadequate way. Her Gordie Howe helmet is her innocent nature, her uncorrupted heart. When she reaches out to the world, with her childlike curiosity, she often finds how a number of insignificant details are interconnected together, forming a tangible pattern, which drives a certain group of people to act in the way they do, as if she were a very experienced anthropologist. He holds her shoulders in his hands, hoping that he would calm her nerves down and liberate herself from thinking that she is responsible for Audrey's unfortunate experience.

Sam speaks with an enthusiastic voice, whilst walking towards Josie's desk: "My marvelous bride! I see you cannot sleep. Let us work together! We can probably find more clues, by exchanging ideas with each other! I never thought working could be such a fun experience! You are amazing, Josie-Cosy."

"I would love doing that! Thank you for being the best guy in the entire universe, Sam! I am really happy that you stayed with me this evening." She gives him a kiss. "Thank you for showing such a massive understanding."

"Oh, my sweet peach bloom, it was a long time ago, since someone have displayed such a massive commitment for any task, leisure or professional." He smiles back. "If you continue working like this, I think I need to buy a bulletproof jacket and a good helmet, when you will work as a correspondence reporter in Iraq or Balkan in the near future."

"Do you really believe in me that much, my Samuel Nicholas?" She asks with tears rolling in her eyes again. "You are such a wonderful partner!"

"I love the fact that you call me your Samuel Nicholas! You have everything it takes to be the most fantastic journalist in the world, my valiant Martha Gellhorn. Nevertheless, I will never treat you as terrible as Hemingway did to Martha, I would rather like to be your Ferdinand, your most loyal companion. I am extremely infatuated in you, my sweet princess of Castile."

The internet search engine is a fantastic tool. To commence with, Sam types in four names together, Kian, Audrey, McShea and Washington, hoping they would find a piece of information which includes all of them. There are altogether five hundred thousand results, from Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Australia, United States, Canada and many more, including a number of pornographic sites. When moving over to the advanced search, by pointing down Madison, Wisconsin, the number of result drops down to two hundred. Thereafter, Sam remembers that Kian is an ancient Gaelic name, which appears in many mythologies, nevertheless the first letter is a C, instead of a K. During their next attempt, the four names are Cian, Audrey, McShea and Washington, so on and so forth. When the first morning light arrives outside their window, it is clear that they have boxed in a likely result in Madison. According to a registration website, there is a popular Irish pub in a small town outside Madison. Three groups of Irish musicians often play in this pub during the weekend. One of which is a cover band. Their repertoire is very impressive, from the old Beatle and Carpenters songs to modern boyband music. Their lead singer is a good looking redhead in his early thirties and his name is Kian McShea. He plays piano and sings. There is an Audrey, who uses Washington as her surname on the same website, under the column, 'Contact Information'.

Sam is happy that they have found so much information after a few hours of searching, it also gives him one good reason to propose a nice sleep over in Wisconsin. Although they both know that Josie is not ready for the wild jungle monkey dance yet, nevertheless to be close to her, inhaling the scent of her body and feeling the warmth of her body through her cute cotton pyjama, all night long, is the best reward he could wish for at this moment.

"My brilliant Kitty Morland, would you like to spend next weekend with me in Milwaukee? We could drive to Madison, visiting this pub, as a couple. I can help you to disguise yourself, probably in a dazzling medieval dress, just like Rosaline." Sam asks. "It would be nice to have a meal with you in that pub. I have always enjoyed eating the Irish sausage sandwich. Of course I will never say no to a cold KilKenny."

"Oh, Mr Tilney, my handsome Henry. I will be happy to have a meal with you! Are you really ready to show me your secret room in your castle. You know how curious I always have been. I think I want to know every unproud past of your life and your family history."

"All my secret are in your possession, my fair lady." Sam replies with an elegant old fashioned British accent.


	13. Chapter 13

Josie is tired, especially after staring at the screen for so many hours and searching for Audrey's personal information, nevertheless she is more happy than ever. Sam has just asked her for a sleepover date in his apartment next weekend, just like a movie scene, nevertheless she is the heroine.

When they are lying in her bed again, she murmurs: "I love the feeling of being so close to you, my Prince charming! What do you think we will do, ten years from now? Do you think the possibility is big that we will still cherish our dreams, the goal that defines who we are?"

He caresses her face with both hands and replies with the softest voice: "You will, without any doubt, my cute koala bear! By the way, I love being your Prince charming! I hope I still will be your Prince Charming, holding your hands every evening and kissing your soft lips good night, my adorable apple tart."

"Sam, you are really a champion, regarding creating the cute nicknames. Do you always come up with such adorable nicknames, when dating a lady in the past?" Josie asks. "How many do you have in your mental storage room at this moment?"

"Oh, my flamboyant Persian Princess! I hate to say that you are the first one, whom I often addressing with the cute nicknames, but it is the truth. By some strange reason it does not feel right to call you with your beautiful name, my pretty Summer rainbow, it reminds me too much about the days in South Glen, when I had to push down all the feelings I had for you." Sam kisses her arm affectionately. "You are amazing, my Celtic warrior queen! I am so scared that one day you will find out how many eloquent, handsome gentlemen would compete for your affection, by citing the most marvelous poems or giving you beautiful flowers." Josie gives him a kiss on his lips.

'Sam, I love you too.' Josie repeats the same sentence in her heart over and over again. She is too shy to express such an explicit feeling to Sam, despite her entire body is screaming with desire. When she finally slumbers in his arms, despite the strong morning sun shine, she has a bright smile in her lips.

When she wakes up again, she is all by herself in her bed. The room is quiet. Her mobile telephone is in the flight mode, showing that she has to charge it soon. Sam's bag is gone. Upon the desk, there is her laptop and a piece of paper, which she used the previous night, when making notes. There are both her own and Sam's writings. Sam has written a number of reflections on the margin, through the evening, which she did not noticed before. In her kitchen, all the dishes are neatly placed in the dishwasher. The black kitchen clock shows that it is eleven o'clock already.

"Sam, where are you?" She screams with a worrisome voice: "Are you here?"

There is no reply. Her own voice bounces back towards herself from the surrounding walls. A second later, she realises that Sam's shoes are gone as well. When she looks down from her window, Sam's automobile has vanished from the parking lot. She goes back to her bed anxiously, the scent of the pillows confirms that Sam was here a while ago. Where is he? It cannot be a sweet dream! If it is, she would like to go back to sleep again. She picks up her telephone and dials his number. After one signal, it goes straight to his voice mail. However there is a new text message from Audrey. "Josie! I am home again, I would like to talk with you."

She calls her back at once. Audrey answers, whilst walking in a busy street. " Hi, Josie, thank you for calling me. Officer Huntington told me that you have called me."

"Audrey! I, I would like to know who you really are. Are you Audrey Washington or Audrey Moscow? I am not sure I would like to be your friend, if you are constantly lying to me. I was so worried, after talking with that police officer." Josie utters in a slightly irritated voice: "What did you do to be locked behind the bars yesterday?"

Audrey replies calmly: "Washington is my maiden name, which I still use, when running my restaurant, my father's proud legacy. Last night was really messy. I was never behind the bars, but I was in the police station, answering their questions regarding my regular guests. One of them is a petite drug dealer." After a short pause, she continues: "They thought my place is such kind of regular connection point. I am really scared myself."

"Oh, I see. I hope you are alright." Josie is shocked. "I did not know how to think, when talking with the police officer. Did you hear anything from Kian? Is he alright?"

"Kian has, has passed away." The sobbing voice, together with the sound of siren from the other end makes Josie feel dizzy. She has to sit down, because she has lost her body balance instantly. A few seconds later, the telephone signal from Audrey also vanishes by itself.

What has just happened? When looking up on the ceiling, the white surface keeps rotating around as if the entire building were floating in the air. The hopeless loneliness besieges her mental world with an imaginative fortress. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Josie answers in a frighten voice: "Yes, this is Josie! "

"Good morning, my orange rising morning sun!" Sam answers with his bright voice! He has come back again, from the eternal oblivion! "Do you want some freshly baked bread for your brunch? I have also collect a few piece of my favorite lightly smoke Polish ham and chicken paté from Prus' food factory."

"Oh, Sam, I thought you have vanished away!" Josie replies.

"But, what happened, my brave Ulster queen, I just wanted to drive to the other end of the town, to buy the really good stuff from the Polish shops. We have talked so much about the Polish flavour, last night. I just wanted to treat you with the authentic Polish cold cuts and some delicious pickled gherkin with a subtle taste of lightly roasted caraway seeds, which Nico once loved." Sam answered with an assuring voice. "I have a small present for you too! Can I come up to you, sweet daffodil?"

"Please come up to me, darling Sam! I need you more than ever!" Josie pushes the button with her shaking fingers. She goes towards the window, to check if Sam's car is in the parking lot, to make sure she does not make everything up in her head. She would like to embrace Sam, as if she has never been hugged by anyone in her life ever before.


	14. Chapter 14

Unlike a school day, Sam wears a lose, amber coloured hoodie, featuring a bold geometric shape, as if he wants to celebrate Piet Mondrian's legacy. When entering Josie's apartment, he takes out a small brown paper box from his front pocket. "Josie, my sweet blueberry cupcake, this is for you!", says he with a quiet, tender voice, whilst giving her a quick kiss on her lips.

Inside, there is a beautiful, personalised leather bookmark, with a long, soft tassel. She recognizes the quote instantly: " I see mysteries and complications wherever I look, and I have never met a steadily logical person." As a young girl, she has spent countless of hours, reading Gellhorn's _Face of War,_ dreaming about a future career as a reporter and giving Americans at home a sense of the complexities of the battlefields, various natural calamities or the geopolitical turmoils. Her most prominent incentive of having a career as a journalist is to depict the obvious paradoxes and contradictions, which motivate some people to praise one specific president candidate and lampoon all the others with the most derogatory phrases they could invent; at the same time, the same stories also encourage others to explore ideas, which would eventually replaces the current social conventions, changing the paradigm of moral consensus radically. When looking at this sentence with her tearful eyes, which she has been countless times in her life, she cannot find a single phrase, express her current feelings.

Slowly, she looks up again and murmures:"Darling Sam, how?" She walks towards her book shelf and takes out her oldest copy of Gellhorn's book, showing him the precise page, upon which, Gellhorn put her sentence." Do you have any idea, how often I reread her narratives, when I thought my childhood dreams keeps fading away as time passses by?"

"Josie-Cosy!" Sam pats her head with his hand and kisses her forehead gently. "I have indeed experienced my share of lost, a key to my apartment, in the middle of the coldest month, a favourite book with lots of notes on the margin, a close friend, who turned to my worst rival, most of all my self-confidence, when I needed it the most." He sighs discreetly. " Want to know a secret, I believe the rudeness and the vulgarity are just as important as the most monumental transcendental ideas, which pushed this nation forward. And you, Josie-Cosy, you are the most fantastic person I have ever encountered! Believe me, I have more faith in you, than in myself!"

"I love you, Samuel Nicholas!" It comes so naturally, as if she has been saying the same phrase to him her entire life!

"I love you too, sweetheart!" He replays with a trembling voice. "I love you, Josie! "


End file.
